Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Baby Free Zone
I'm sure I am probably the last person on the face of the earth to notice this, but I suddenly realized that babies have become both an industry and an accessory. There is so much stuff out there for babies that it boggles the mind. The variety of products is staggering, but it is the ingenuity that really blows me away - running strollers are just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, the growth has happened so quickly that I've heard women who had their children ten years ago complain to new mothers that it was much harder in their day. Yesterday I spoke to a neighbour who is 6 months pregnant and currently stays home with an 18 month old, and she was wishing that these things had been available when her first was born!
Everything to make life easier for parents and baby. And of course, it's all unbelievably expensive. The newest accoutrement are not for the financially challenged. Walk in to your local espresso bar on a Saturday morning, and you'll often find it full of fathers accompanying progeny with a thousand dollars worth of gear in tow. More if there's an actual stroller. My first car didn't cost what some of these buggies are going for. Sundays it's the same show but with mommy, daddy and baby having brunch at their favourite spot.
Now I may be wrong - it has happened - but I don't think that these matitudinal outings are(as others would have us believe) about parents maintaining their pre-baby lifestyle. I'm discovering the walkways of many a favourite cafe are becoming cluttered with the infant paraphenalia and I swear I never saw these folks before the bundle of joy arrived. I think the purpose of these outings is to allow parents to show off. The way you raise, dress, feed and transport your baby is a statement about who you are. You can't just be a good parent you must be seen to be a good parent.
This of course means that the baby industry has triggered a cascade of trends that new parents can adopt in an effort to define who they are post-baby. All the green trends, all the organic trends, all the trendy trends. You're not just Carmen Alexander's father or Violet's mom, you're that really cool/hot hybrid-driving/nanny-employing guy/chick who no one can believe is even married let alone the parent of two children! OMG! Pay close attention to these people because not only do their spending habits determine a lot of the trends, they act like consumer crash test dummies for the rest of us to watch.
Everything to make life easier for parents and baby. And of course, it's all unbelievably expensive. The newest accoutrement are not for the financially challenged. Walk in to your local espresso bar on a Saturday morning, and you'll often find it full of fathers accompanying progeny with a thousand dollars worth of gear in tow. More if there's an actual stroller. My first car didn't cost what some of these buggies are going for. Sundays it's the same show but with mommy, daddy and baby having brunch at their favourite spot.
Now I may be wrong - it has happened - but I don't think that these matitudinal outings are(as others would have us believe) about parents maintaining their pre-baby lifestyle. I'm discovering the walkways of many a favourite cafe are becoming cluttered with the infant paraphenalia and I swear I never saw these folks before the bundle of joy arrived. I think the purpose of these outings is to allow parents to show off. The way you raise, dress, feed and transport your baby is a statement about who you are. You can't just be a good parent you must be seen to be a good parent.
This of course means that the baby industry has triggered a cascade of trends that new parents can adopt in an effort to define who they are post-baby. All the green trends, all the organic trends, all the trendy trends. You're not just Carmen Alexander's father or Violet's mom, you're that really cool/hot hybrid-driving/nanny-employing guy/chick who no one can believe is even married let alone the parent of two children! OMG! Pay close attention to these people because not only do their spending habits determine a lot of the trends, they act like consumer crash test dummies for the rest of us to watch.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
The Provincial Election
I just saw a public service announcement from the government urging us to invest and here's the twist. It's not the federal government urging us to invest in Canada Savings Bonds, it's the Ontario government urging us to play the stock market! What! I can't decide if this is really smart or really diabolical.
I gotta tell you though, I love Dalton McGinty's new campaign - the effortlessly earnest urban left wingers, the 21st century yuppies looking you in the eye and telling you a heart warming story about some good deed performed, apparently, by Dalton McGinty personally; telling us how the personal is affected by the political. And you know what? I want to believe them so badly - I really, really do. If for no other reason than that I'm tired of always having to guess if people are telling the truth or not. I really want to believe that these people, these sincere people , people who could live next door to me, people I know, people I respect...I desperately want to believe that the things they are telling me are not just true, but that they actually matter! That they are outward spreading ripples on a pond. That we won't all regret this in a few years.
I gotta tell you though, I love Dalton McGinty's new campaign - the effortlessly earnest urban left wingers, the 21st century yuppies looking you in the eye and telling you a heart warming story about some good deed performed, apparently, by Dalton McGinty personally; telling us how the personal is affected by the political. And you know what? I want to believe them so badly - I really, really do. If for no other reason than that I'm tired of always having to guess if people are telling the truth or not. I really want to believe that these people, these sincere people , people who could live next door to me, people I know, people I respect...I desperately want to believe that the things they are telling me are not just true, but that they actually matter! That they are outward spreading ripples on a pond. That we won't all regret this in a few years.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Catalogue Shopping
Catalogue shopping is not what it used to be. Today, everything is specialized or discounted - less than what you want in every way. Sears is still doing it thank heavens, because one of my favourite things in the whole wide world is to sit down with the Sears catalogue and go shopping for my ideal life - or rather lives, because with a Sears catalogue I can be any body and every body that I want to be.
The catalogue is set up perfectly for exactly this type of activity. I start out in women's clothing and pick out my wardrobe. I can wear anything. In catalogue world I look good in orange, even a size two will fit if I want it to, and everything is age appropriate. So I move through the dresses and suits, the blouses and skirts, the pants, jeans, sweaters and evening wear continuing on through lingerie and shoes. At this point, the catalogue moves in to men's wear, but I'm not ready for that yet, so I skip a few pages and arrive at furniture. Living room, dining room, the kitchen - which can take days because now you're into dishes and appliances - the bathroom, and last but not least, the bedroom.
As a little girl, I wanted a canopy bed. My idea of the perfect boudoir was white laminate furniture with gold antiqued curlicues, ruffled pink bedding and best of all the matching pink arc of canopy stretched over it. This was an image ripped from the pages of the Sears catalogue. What little girl didn't want that same bedroom suite? It was surely fit for a princess. The mock settings for these furnishings were rooms that always contained an area just beyond the bed where the floor was raised a step. Light beyond it hinted at windows, walk in closets and and en-suite bathroom. That canopy bed promised a way of life that I wanted.
As I chose the fittings for each room, I'd go back and forth tweeking my wardrobe to match an evolving image of my life as it was defined by the furniture I chose. Sometimes I'd be seduced by camping equipment and have to go back to women's wear and trade the satin and pearls for khakis and fleece.
And then on to men's wear - which o course was about finding the man to fit into this divine lifestyle I've created. A man who can sleep under a pink canopy and be ok with it. Ah, the Sears catalogue really had it all.
The catalogue is set up perfectly for exactly this type of activity. I start out in women's clothing and pick out my wardrobe. I can wear anything. In catalogue world I look good in orange, even a size two will fit if I want it to, and everything is age appropriate. So I move through the dresses and suits, the blouses and skirts, the pants, jeans, sweaters and evening wear continuing on through lingerie and shoes. At this point, the catalogue moves in to men's wear, but I'm not ready for that yet, so I skip a few pages and arrive at furniture. Living room, dining room, the kitchen - which can take days because now you're into dishes and appliances - the bathroom, and last but not least, the bedroom.
As a little girl, I wanted a canopy bed. My idea of the perfect boudoir was white laminate furniture with gold antiqued curlicues, ruffled pink bedding and best of all the matching pink arc of canopy stretched over it. This was an image ripped from the pages of the Sears catalogue. What little girl didn't want that same bedroom suite? It was surely fit for a princess. The mock settings for these furnishings were rooms that always contained an area just beyond the bed where the floor was raised a step. Light beyond it hinted at windows, walk in closets and and en-suite bathroom. That canopy bed promised a way of life that I wanted.
As I chose the fittings for each room, I'd go back and forth tweeking my wardrobe to match an evolving image of my life as it was defined by the furniture I chose. Sometimes I'd be seduced by camping equipment and have to go back to women's wear and trade the satin and pearls for khakis and fleece.
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Saturday, August 11, 2007
quantifying
I think I may have an understanding of what constitutes a bit, a few and several, but how many are in a bunch? how big is a whack? will a slew fit in my suitcase? And is a shitload more than five?
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
Laundry: an Expose
We recently bought a new washing machine - apartment size. I couldn't tell you who made the thing but it also gets HDTV and makes ice. It's a front loader - very European don't you know. It trills a little ditty when you turn it on, and sings a chorus when the cycle is through. It has 34 different wash/rinse combinations and when you add in the options for water temperature, the freedom of choice becomes exponentially larger. It has other features - a digital timer and surround sound - but my favourite is the Jiffy Wash. I'm in a hurry today, I thought I'd try it. The digital timer says 32. For a normal wash it's 57. And my thinking on this is that if I have an item of clothing that won't be clean after 32 minutes in soap and water, I should throw it out.
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